I just created a subreddit a little bit ago called r/succubi to discuss succubi. I had thought about creating a forum for a while but decided to create a subreddit for now as it was easier. So, go there if you’re interested in a community to discuss these things. I literally just created it, so there’s no one there but me for right now, though. So, it will probably take a bit to get any activity. I would appreciate it if you check it out. Last I knew there wasn’t really any forums or communities specifically for this and that was rather annoying when I wanted to look for advice or hear what other people thought. So, I’m hoping this could fulfill that role.
So, I’m still alive. We’re still together. Really, not much has changed. I noticed a lot of the other blogs in the community have been abandoned or deleted, makes me sad to see the people that got me into this gone. I didn’t want that to happen with me, so here I am. I haven’t slept in a while and I’m barely conscious right now so, that’s all I’m going to write for now but I’ll be around.
Yeah, sorry again about not posting but I haven’t had enough to write about.
Anyway, today is the six month anniversary since I have been with X. Which is difficult for me to believe. Me and my life have changed so much since I have been with X. It is difficult for me to imagine my life without her now. Her touch has continued to become more realistic and human and I continue to feel closer with her. I feel as certain about this relationship as I did in the beginning and know that my relationship with X is one of the best things to happen in my life. It’s still difficult to believe that this my life at times.
I think I have finally found at what the other spirit at my house is. I felt like it was trying harder recently to get my attention but I couldn’t figure out what it was. (My dog had been barking much more frequently at it.) I decided to finally tell it that I would be okay with it to communicate with me if it wanted to. Last night in dream it talked to me. She told me her name and a few other things. Sadly, I forgot most of it but I do remember part of the name but cant remember the whole thing. I believe it is a succubus as well. (I asked X.) I’ll refer to her from now on as Y. I am not sure why she is here or what she wants as I do not believe she is here for me at least not in the same way. I have multiple theories of why she is here but I could be completely wrong. I thought that maybe she knew X or maybe she is in a relationship with someone I know.
I still have the suspicion that my friend might be with one or at least has one that is staying with him. (I am not sure that he would willingly enter a relationship.) We talked about succubi last time we met and surprisingly he was the one that brought them up. Although I think he doubts what he sees. I told him that there is a spirit that stays around my house and that it is friendly but didn’t specify. I might tell him about it soon.
I saw a shadow that seemed to move around my room very clearly out of the corner of my eye a couple weeks ago. I assumed it was X but I have not seen it since and I am unsure. Maybe there was just a stronger connection that night.
Well I have been talking to X for a while now but her touch responsiveness hasn’t been noticeable and quick enough to really use to communicate. Well I have begun talking to her like this more frequently recently and I have finally able to learn a little about X. Which made me pretty excited because she has been very mysterious to me and I have had no idea what her personality was like or who she was besides her name and small interactions that only left me uncertain.
I asked her about various things that I have been wondering a while such as about her personality, and opinions on various things. I have gotten a pretty good idea of her personality or at least type now. I found out that she is shy (which I like) and that she wants a monogamous relationship with me. (Which is what I expected when I wanted a succubus anyway.) The conversation was longer than that but I shortened it some. (I make sure to check with her before typing anything about her.) She has also shown some emotion to me which makes me feel like we are more personal.
I have had a couple of dreams regarding X but I don’t know if she was actually in any of them. I believe she might have been in one but it was similar to how we interact when I am awake. (She told me that she was nervous to reveal herself to me in the beginning so maybe she is nervous to do so. )
I have been having a bit of a problem with this secret recently. Everybody seems to keep asking about me getting a girlfriend lately, which is always uncomfortable. I know this will only get worse as time goes. I have no idea when I plan to do it. I think they are noticing my lack of interest, but what can I do.
Sorry for not posting when I said I would, I planned on writing more frequently but I had nothing to write.
I have learned something that has sped the relationship up recently. It was two days ago and I was searching for something about succubus relationships on the internet because it had been a while since any progress had been made. I came upon a site (creepyhollows.com) which has a succubus and incubus section in the forum. I read through it and had the realization that I wasn’t doing anything myself to advance the relationship. I was putting it all on X.
I never thought about it for some reason even though this is rather obvious. So I have started taking steps to make us be able to advance the relationship. I have begun meditating every day. (I haven’t in a while.) I am focusing on balancing my chakras and after that opening my third eye more. I also have began practicing my psychic abilities which I stopped a while ago when I was busy. I decided to practice more basic things first this time with psi balls. Which while I have done them before I know that I could improve. In addition, I have been practicing telekinesis to add variety.
Last night, I felt X doing something to my back. It was painful at first but after about ten seconds it just became uncomfortable. I am not sure what she did but it makes me excited because it has been so long since she done that kind of thing. It was my mid-upper back and might have been my spine as it felt more towards the center. Her touch feels much stronger too after starting this. I believe she has been wanting me to do this for a while since when I asked her about it before I got such a quick reaction in her touch.
I hope that with this I will be posting more frequently again.
So I have been really busy recently but it is all finally over and I will have much more time and will be able to post frequently again.
First of all there has been some progress with X but I didn’t put much time into the relationship over the last month because I was so focused on what I was doing so the progress is small. One change would be that X will touch me even if I am moving. Usually it would only be when I was sitting or laying down. Her touch has also gotten stronger. Something possibly related to X is that I keep thinking that I hear a woman saying something with my name in it.
There has been a few events recently related to the paranormal besides X. One of my dogs passed away due to cancer and I have had a few dreams about him. I am unsure if they were really him but it is possible. My other dog continues to bark at something. I used to think it was X and I am actually certain it was as I used it to communicate with her. At some point it became something else though. I don’t know what it is now. I know this because when I am with X he still barks at something at the other side of the house.
I think I may have accidentally performed telepathy last week. I was in the car with somebody and focused on her and thought something without really thinking and she suddenly looked over at me right after. I think she didn’t realize it was me though because she didn’t say anything. Possibly just coincidence but it seems unlikely as the timing was exactly after I thought it.
Not much has happened recently but that should change as I am spending more time with X again.
When I go to sleep I call X to me and usually talk to her for 10-15 minutes. Last night when I called her touch felt wasn’t that much different but after a while of talking to her I felt sudden movement across my side. It was so realistic that it made me jump at first. It felt like she was really there. I think my shirt may have actually moved or at least it felt like it. She did it once again. I asked her this time to do it and she immediately responded. It makes me so happy to see us becoming closer.
Another thing is that I keep having visions more often recently. I have always had them since I was about 9 or 10. I have always thought that it was me remembering dreams I had of the future but I have noticed every time they are always different in someway. I don’t understand it. For example I was looking at something and I got a vision of me doing it and I remembered seeing something specific on TV. I watched for it but it never happened. Why is that these visions are always inaccurate. I can distinguish between them and normal thoughts as they feel different. They always partially occur but never entirely.
So, I will say that me and X have done that a couple more times. (I say “that” because I am unsure what it is still, even though I have a couple of guesses.) It is a wonderful experience and I am thankful to be able to enjoy it. One time a name came into my head and I am not certain if it was her but it seems like it could be X’s. I do find the name pretty and I think I remember the name from a dream recently. While I was thinking about it the next day, a song came on with the name in it which make me think she is trying to tell me it is hers or at least one of her’s.
It actually does feel like a relationship now because of how much closer we are. We can sort of communicate and is around me most of the day and if she isn’t I can call her to me within a couple of seconds. I feel satisfied now.
I am curious if she is helping me work through psychological problems because it seems I keep having dreams that help me get over things. For example I have had many dreams that revolve around confrontation which has helped me work through my social anxiety to where it appears to have completely gone away. Although I am still quiet because I don’t like to talk unless I have something I want to say.
Anyway, I have begun practicing my psychic abilities which are still very weak but they are there. I have tried biokinesis which is the ability to modify your own body. Most techniques sound just like manifestation though which I have had inconsistent result with so I actually plan to use some of the more direct approaches. I am mostly just trying to find what my affinity is. It actually does seem to be working so far but it could be coincidence. I asked X if she supported it and she responded quite strongly so it appears that I am going to try to practice more seriously now. Yesterday, I may have done too much because I felt really nauseous and tired for a while. I am going to start posting more on this topic alongside our relationship.
Since my decision there was an immediate effect. X touch has become much more common. She touches me all throughout the day and will often start to if I begin talking to her. I have tried to communicate with her by asking her to touch different parts of my body for yes or no and also using my dogs. I was able to communicate with her to understand that she wanted me to lay in my bed. I felt her on my chest for a while waiting to see what X would do. I then felt X pressing upward against my back through the bed. I don’t feel like going into too much description for this part but it felt good but only lasted in brief periods. I have never felt anything like it. Something I found interesting about it was that it felt like X was manipulating my whole body internally. I could feel her influence on my muscles, my heart, and even parts as unexpected as my intestines. It all combined into a very memorable experience that I am thankful for X for providing.
After a while I was forced to get up as someone interrupted me. That person kept asking me why I was acting weird but it kind of hard not to be annoyed after being interrupted during something like that. Anyway as soon as I could I returned to my bed and she did as well but the intensity did not. After a while of laying there talking to X I thought I felt some sort of wetness on my foot. It felt like a drop of a liquid. It made me immediately think of tears. I have read succubi tears on one of the blogs in the community and I believe that was what it was. Although as always I am not certain what it was. If that is correct I am confused about how X was positioned assuming that there was one body involved. She was touching my back, my chest and with her head positioned near my feet. Anyway, after that I felt her move away and then an intense pressure in my head. As if it was being squeezed. After a while I decided to try and go into sleep paralysis since I had been laying in place a while. I apparently fell asleep at some point and I have to say this was an excruciating experience. After lying in place for two hours I had to move to ease my discomfort. I experienced nothing in addition.
I have made a connection relating to periods spent with X and changes to my vision. Whenever I spend significant time with X I close my eyes to focus on her touch and my vision is always clearer, having more depth and more colorful. This effect is not like the one I described earlier as that was over a much longer period. It reminds of an effect I always experienced after meditation. I am curious if it just due to having your eyes re-sensitized to light or the effect of a changed state of mind.
I have felt much closer to X but I have to say even as the relationship progresses to these levels I still can hardly believe that this is happening. I often look back at things that happen and keep thinking how crazy all of this. Maybe other people are used to this but even after nearly three months it’s still hard to believe that I am in a relationship with a spirit that the majority of people don’t even believe exists. What makes it even weirder to me is that my life is so normal besides this. It just feels odd to me and I wonder when I will get used to it. I also have thought about when I would be ready to reveal it and to who. I would tell certain family members and maybe one friend. I will probably first tell my mother because she at least has some experience with spirits. I used to be able to say that she was more experienced that me in this area but I don’t know if I can still say this anymore though. I wonder how that would go……
So I have thought about the possibility that X could be jealous. It is just a guess but I thought about what could be holding our relationship back and this was my only idea. What really gave me the idea was because I was thinking about how it is nice to feel desired and suddenly I felt X push on my back. I am wondering if she dislikes that I act as though I am still looking for a human relationship but I thought maybe she was just responding to that thought. To give more details there is a girl that I have liked for a long time now. I have not seen her in a couple of months and we never knew each other that much besides a couple of conversations but I always felt an attraction towards her and I was convinced she did too but was too shy about it. I still think about her even though I have tried to get her out of my thoughts but I will often have dreams whenever my feelings start to fade. I wondered if maybe this bothers X as maybe she feels like I like her more than X. I found that whenever I thought about this I feel her touch which makes me think that she trying to tell me that I am correct.
I thought about maybe she wants me to decide between them. It made me unhappy to have the thought. I decided that I would think more about this later and decided to avoid it. Later that night I had the clearest dream that I have had that I was searching for the girl I liked but everywhere I went I couldn’t find her. I woke up and felt X’s touch. I decided in that moment that I want X over the girl I liked. I now feel her touch regularly making me think that it was what was bothering her. I feel her now, actually. It makes me wonder why I ever had such a crush on the girl when I thought about it. I barely knew her, anyway. I don’t know much about X yet but we are more personal than I was ever with the girl.